22.

Hey there lovelies!

Guess whose birthday it is today? That’s right, it’s mine!! 😀 Thought I’d write about it and reflect a little, so if you’d like to peruse it, read on:

Well, it was one hell of a year as a 21-year-old. It’s been tiring, heartbreaking, challenging, but also incredibly illuminating. I have made so many changes to myself and my environment, and whilst it was (and still is) an incredibly uncomfortable experience, it’s all been for the better. I’ve said some goodbyes and welcomed some new people in, re-evaluated and reflected on who I am and who I want to be and realized that old goals and dreams aren’t as impossible as I thought.

What I’m grateful for the most today, however, is how different I feel about my birthday this year. In 2018, I wasn’t in the best of places and I just wasn’t looking forward to it. Then regrettably, I ignored how I was feeling, pushed through as much as I could and acted like everything was fine when it really wasn’t; and overall, it wasn’t the best birthday experience. Thankfully, in 2019, I’m feeling so much better and I’m looking forward to a day of relaxation, reading, great food, and fun times with my loved ones.

This year has truly been one of the most eventful and inspiring yet and has taught me a lot about myself, both good things and bad. I now know that:

  • I don’t give myself a lot of credit for a number of things;
  • My perfectionism, besides my fear of failure, tends to derail me and stop me from doing what I want to do, but that can’t stop me being the creative person I’m meant to be and being open online about these things;
  • Even though it’s been a while, and you aren’t as good as you used to be, you’ll get better every time. So, sit down, tell your doubts to shut up and write more (!!);
  • I’m not always going to be the good guy and I’m not always going to make everyone happy, and when I do disappoint, it’s not the end of the world;
  • No matter how right I think I am, doesn’t mean everyone else will see it the same way, and that’s okay too;
  • Just because someone doesn’t understand why I love the things I love, that doesn’t mean that they don’t care for me (and that thinking that only makes things harder for you and everyone else);
  • My loved ones have my back more than I realize;
  • I’m not as much of a mess as I thought, and even if I am feeling particularly messy, that’s okay too;
  • I should trust my intuition/gut a lot more;
  • Just because I’m not up to date on everything with blogging and social media, it doesn’t mean that I won’t be able to catch up! 
  • Focusing too much on/having anxiety about the numbers and views only stops me from enjoying the lovely people and book community that I met online (and you guys are too precious)!
  • And despite what I may think, people in the community care about what I have to say about books!


I may be more accepting of myself, and I may have learned a few things, but the journey isn’t over yet. I can’t wait to see what my twenty-second year has in store for me, especially with my loved ones (online and offline) by my side ❤ 

 

Thanks for reading! I hope you all enjoyed this little reflective post from me. Please let me know what you’re grateful for and/or something that you learned about yourself.

 

Until next time,

Alexia x

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